Ryan's Song

So I'm not even in America right now and the big news of the week is still making me want to yell at strangers. Paul Ryan? But...what? It's like Romney has already gone out of his way to alienate women and the working class, so he thought he would add the elderly to the mix as well? And even more women, since Ryan has done a brilliant job of voting again pro-choice and defunding planned parenthood? That's cool at least the rich and the conservatives (same costume) will have even more reason to vote the way they were going to anyway, but with more assurance that their tax breaks will be safe.

I suppose it's Romney's prerogative to add more energy to his campaign and he's succeeded in doing so. Albeit at the beginning of a veep rollout there is generally a lot of attention, because it's a big deal for four days or so! Unless you're Sarah Palin. Then you never escape. Or unless you introduce your vice presidential candidate as The Next President of The United States which probably confused a crowd into thinking they were being punk'd. The crowd being the conservative party and face it some of them were momentarily hopefully that Romney had actually passed it off. Anyhow, I guess we haven't had enough controversy since Rick Santorum left to go build himself an ark out of bibles to sail back to the 1950's in. He's still mad women get to vote. Yeah I'm not over Rick Santorum it's going to take some time.


But I digeess. Romney/Ryan 2012? Withering sighs are the new soundtrack to the Republican party.

To add some positively to this post I've included this picture I took of Amsterdam. That ought to fix things. Why didn't the Obama administration think of THAT amirightteaparty? ....because whatever Obama didn't think of is the answer.

Does anyone want to try scaling their way out of a massive hell pit with me this weekend? No? YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT FATHERS AND HOPE.

I wish I could have Hans Zimmer scores playing in the background of my entire life. Also, look out for a mine field of spoiler alerts since I'm going to talk about this movie in it's entirety.

So I have officially seen The Dark Knight Rises twice, and in memorandum of my prior posts' ideals about what I thought this movie would be I'd like to begin with another series of questions that I asked myself during and following my viewing of the movie: What were Christopher Nolan's messages throughout this film? What were all of these characters supposed to mean relative to Batman and Bruce Wayne's respective developments? Did everyone notice Talia Al Ghul literally twisting a knife in Bruce Wayne's side as she explained the twist of the story? LOL@christophernolan. Is that a real social networking thing I just did? I don't know how any of that actually works. And finally the most important question of all - what would Joseph Gordon-Levitt look like making pancakes in my kitchen in the morning? (I'm sure a good percentage of the audience had a similar thought bubble there).

SO MANY QUESTIONS to look into, and I'm genuinely disappointed to say many of them really weren't questions that needed answering at all. It was a great movie. I knew it would be, Christopher Nolan can't actually fail in making a film but it was no Dark Knight. Because there's so much to write about I'm going to break this down into a few categories based on themes. This was incredibly difficult to untangle because ultimately a lot of these themes and points were shoved into the movie unnecessarily and they sort of ran into and conflicted with one another but I'm going to try to make this as easy as possible to write about. Prepare to go on a journey of extreme over thinking about the philosophy of this movie, below.

But first the academy awards of Laura!

BEST ACTOR: Joesph Gordon-Levitt. Done and done the perfect blend of eagerness and slicked back hair. I was so happy to see him in a role that didn't require him to awkwardly smile (no offense to his adorable dimples. It may be obvious I came out of this movie with a new acting crush) and be someone's needy boyfriend. GLAD that he got the opportunity to act in a role that was a little more dynamic and challenging, I hope that he ends up getting more things like this in the future it was a great use of his talents. I haven't seen everything he's ever done but the things he's most known for definitely don't require more than a furrowed brow and a shy smile. And the robin twist was very cool although I wish they'd called him Dick Grayson in the movie, it wouldn't have given it away to the general population and I think the hardcore fans would have appreciated the nod.

MOST AWKWARD USE OF SEXUALITY: Anne Hathaway. Every time she tried to be provocative she sounded like she was reciting from an 80's porn script. She wasn't much of a scene stealer and her character didn't really do much to move the story in any direction until the cliche 'knick of time' save at the end. Ultimately well written, flatly delivered, great hair, no chemistry at all with Christian Bale. She lacked the subtlety of Michelle Pheiffer's Catwoman that made her mysterious and believably manipulative. At least we're one more Catwoman away from Halle Berry's.

BEST CHRISTIAN BALE: Michael Cain. Just kidding guys it was Christian Bale.

BEST CAMEO: Scarecrow. I expect Christopher Nolan and Cillian Murphy to announce the wedding any day now.

MOST DISTRACTING CAMEO: Peter Baelish.

WORST VOICE AWARD: Bane. Sorry, it was Bane. It is like Christopher Nolan can't make a movie without someone having an indecipherable accent. He sounded like someone's British grandfather I kept expecting him to invite Batman into his sewer kitchen nook for tea. Tom Hardy is very good from what I've seen but in this movie he wasn't exactly acting. He probably wasn't even speaking during those scenes he's just a pair of eyes and a freakishly gigantic body.

OVERUSED MANIPULATIVE VIXEN: Marion Cotillard. Boom.

Everyone else was awesome. Gary Oldman, amazing. Morgan Freeman, flawless. Guy from Malcolm in the Middle who's job was to block traffic and accidentally get shot, okay why not.

Onto themes. This part is an exercise in frustration so if you went to watch shit get blown up and you were satisfied turn back now and don't do this to yourself. There are recurring points about C. Nolan recycling plot lines from Batman Begins and renouncing huge themes from the Dark Knight that will drive me crazy until my dying day.

FEAR
After sifting through everything in the movie this is what I found to be the most important thing Nolan tackled. Bruce Wayne was told in Batman Begins that he must eliminate his fear to truly learn to fight crime; this is what Ra's Al Ghul coaches him to do and this is how he overcomes and adopts his fear of bats and his anger about his parents' death and becomes The Batman. In The Dark Knight rises Prison Alfred explains how the child was born of vengeance and fear and anger (much like himself) and the cataract-ridden (?) doctor in the hell pit tells him that he must embrace his fear again in order to get himself out, that anger and vengeance is not enough; what this is really saying is to embrace the humanity and vulnerability of Bruce Wayne (that The Joker apparently successfully got rid of in the Dark Knight) to find his way out. Talia Al Ghul climbs out as a child because of her anger and her need for vengeance, and then goes on to use this to fail at exactly what her father failed at. And this continues to explain why Batman wasn't suited for the League of Shadows, unnecessarily since we already went over that in Batman Begins.

I will never get over that Nolan took new characters and made them do old tricks.

HOPE
Blake was the symbol of hope for the movie, and although they never interacted he represented the antithesis of Bane. Bane was constantly preaching how the loss of hope was the ultimate sacrifice to bring somebody to their knees. This was a very interesting point, I really enjoyed how Bane was written to discuss the erosion of the soul over the destruction of the body, even though he of course also destroys bodies pretty well. Philosophically it's a complex issue and I appreciated that the audience got a view of both sides. Additionally both Blake and Bane were ultimately the catalysts for those carrying the real message. Bane's rhetoric about hope and hope lost is the support beam for Talia's insane prejudice against Gotham and her ultimate plot to destroy it, and Blake is what finally gets Bruce Wayne remembering the hope he once gave to Gotham and what must be restored since war has begun again in Gotham. The purpose of these characters is to off-set each other to instill and remove hope where necessary, which is subtle because it isn't obvious that Blake and Bane are ultimately the pair in the movie that are most perpendicular.

$MONEY$
This boggles my mind to no end. The message the Nolans are sending here is incredibly unclear and counterintuitive. It seems obvious at first - he's making a point about the poor and the rich and how extreme the divide in society can be. But he seems to really contradict himself - Alfred tells Bruce Wayne to use his money to help Gotham instead of his body. This is a good message, no? Alfred J. Pennyworth is no novice to sage grandfatherly advice. This is what America has been yelling about for a while - use your money to help others, don't just use it to make yourself richer. Philanthropy, etc. And that's what Bruce Wayne has seemingly done with his sustainable energy reactor except then it turns out to be...the thing that almost destroys Gotham? So, money doesn't help. Money will destroy Gotham faster. Okay, except then Batman also becomes 'Broken Bat' via Bane so his body is no good either. Which leaves him with a really lucky couple of last minute saves? Luck saved Gotham? Ouch. There is a thin argument for hope being what drove Catwoman (somehow) and Jim Gordon and Blake and Fox to take the actions that ultimately saved the city but that seems a little cliche for the Nolanverse.


Also on another note Bane tells the people of Gotham that the city is theirs to take back but a scene later says that the prisoners are the ones who deserve the city and it's implied that everyone should actually just stay home until they die and the seedy underbelly of Gotham are the ones that deserve to rule. What on earth, Nolans.


I also super duper wish he'd left the Talia twist out completely. Bane is so COOL on his own he ended up just being some patsy for the girl who is avenging her father who she hates. Not to mention Bane's problem with authority is perfectly understood in his actual comic book story but in the movie it's hard to understand why exactly he hates authority figures and police so much. Even in the pit it seems like authority wasn't really the problem, over-zealous face eating prisoners were. And that's definitely a problem, just not one that makes me understand why he wants the people of Gotham to drown cops and beat up rich people with tire irons. They explain that he did it for love of Talia, which one might assume means his love for her as her protector when she was a child but then becomes vague because by the time this all happens they are somehow the same age. Luckily a gratuitous shot of Anne Hathaway's butt was there to distract us from thinking about it too much. And it wasn't even that much of a twist if you just pay attention to the sex scene that was forced uncomfortably into the script Bruce Wayne runs his finger over Miranda (Talia)'s scar which is so similar to what Bane has on his head so, there you go guys. FoReShAdoWing. I liked that because it tipped me off right away and from then on I looked at her with side eyes.

So much to say. If you read this whole thing thank you it took me four days to write and I've spent all of my analytical cognitive capacity.

BATPOST. Countdown to the end of days.

There are many questions an existentially aware human being may ask in their lifetime. A few examples:

1. Why was Chris Brown in my dream last night?

2. When did I accidentally start napping and why is there a string cheese wrapper stuck to my arm?

4. When will the Arrested Development movie FINALLY get made?

3.  I accidentally listened to four seconds of Call Me Maybe and now it will be playing in my head for the rest of my natural born life. Why? WHY?

But there is one question that nobody will ever have to ask themselves: Will Chrisopher Nolan make a good movie? The answer is always, unfailingly going to be yes. The answer to #2 is eating string cheese in bed.

Here it is, week 0. The week batfans have been waiting for since stepping out of a theater four summers ago.

The Dark Knight Rises Comes Out Friday, at 12:03am as my pre-purchased ticket dictates. And here's what it is - I am absolutely terrified to see this movie. I am afraid of what Christopher Nolan is going to do to my faith in humanity this time, since the last occasion left me completely rattled. Grappling with themes of fear, desperation, the fragility of human connection and the ever-raging duality of good and evil present in all people in the ultra-concentrated cocktail of Nolan characters.

There is not enough reiteration in the world to express my skepticism about Anne Hathaway as Catwoman but I've done a lot of thinking about his choice of characters for this particular story. The Dark Knight dealt almost entirely with issues of duality and conflict - good vs. evil, batman vs. bruce wayne, Two-Face as himself, The Joker vs. Batman, crime vs. morality, rich vs. poor, British actors with American accents. Nolan wove this incredibly intricate cloth of self-reflective questions. I think the most effective use of his story is the question of Bruce Wayne becoming Batman. When the costume becomes the man, and the man becomes the thing, which they alluded to a lot in the Dark Knight and I have a strong feeling is going to be a huge theme in this new film. The Joker recognized this reality and manipulated Batman into at times succumbing to what makes him a vulnerable human being just to show him how ugly human vulnerability is, and how much more empowering and natural a human instinct for destruction can prove to be especially with the power that he has in his hands. Slowly bringing Batman to the brink of his humanity to push him into the other side and creating a monster that Batman literally HAD to embody to keep Harvey Dent looking like the good guy only convinces me further of the path I think we'll be seeing him on in The Dark Knight Rises. This is obviously infuriating to watch but also one of the most convincing struggles I've ever seen portrayed in a tragic hero film; Bruce Wayne sets out to do something good and instead of just stopping at the lazy Peter Parker Spiderman society questions me dilemma we get to actually see him question this himself! So rare and such an incredible psychological platform to build the jarring realism of the Nolanverse around. He goes out to create good but his desire is based on anger and vengeance. Batman has no purity, he didn't come into this role out of the goodness of his heart Batman was born of fear and anger and a need for revenge. These feelings are constantly bubbling under the surface and the more grief and obligation he feels in the role the more he begins to embrace it.

So, as far as character choices, I think Nolan may have done something very interesting. My thought is that Bane being a character based on pure force, and Catwoman who is known for her manipulation and quiet cunning represent the different sides of Batman/Bruce Wayne. If Nolan continues with his themes of duality the two characters being juxtaposed will serve to tear Bruce Wayne even further in two. When the two are literally at odds in front of him how will that self-evolve? Dangerously, no doubt. Of course Bane is known for doing one particular thing that I fear every moment counting down to this will mean the end of Batman in a way I can't trust is off the table. What I love so much about Christopher Nolan's take on Batman is his bringing it into our reality, as something that's happening in one of our big American cities and knowing as you see this unfolding that you would be another innocent bystander. It creates an incredibly unnerving feeling of identity with the victims of these complex criminal masterminds.

So, in keeping with themes of duality and the 'what would you do' factor that always seems to be Nolan's winking undercurrent I feel this one will make any audience member (if you're going for the action more power to you this ones for the cerebral nerds out there) incredibly uncomfortable with what it's representing about a character that is neither entirely good nor admittedly evil; someone who struggles as much as anybody else might with whether doing the right thing is always the right thing and at what point does that destroy you? You either die the hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Isn't this the truest and most painful reality that has been created within the institution of Batman? Batman will never truly be the hero, not the real Batman not the human story behind the heroic actions. Batman is born to fear and hurt and suffer and sacrifice and get no thanks for it. Batman is JESUS. Just kidding don't let Mel Gibson get his hands on that. But facing this all-encompassing question how exactly does Nolan plan to answer that question? And this is what keeps me crossing my fingers that it isn't what I think it is.


I'll be eager to discuss the horror after I do a bunch of googling about how much money the box office made off of it.

Michael Bay's new film: War on Job Creators. The senate is EXPLODING with various bills that will need future review.

Does anybody else immediately put up an NPR tab when they open internet explorer just because it's comforting?

So it looks like the campaign is finally getting down to brass tacks again. I haven't read a story about abortion is weeks. We're back to scandals and the failing economy, everybody's favorite choices in Draw Something.

At least Mitt Romney will be happy about it he digs the economy. He loves money, just ask him he'll tell you all about it. Although there haven't been any presidents thus far who have been primarily CEO's, and I've heard some interesting theorizing about how he's going to handle the rest of the workload. I've said it before and I'll say it again I've never thought that Mitt Romney would make a bad president. We don't have glaring red flags of alcohol abuse and undeserved blind conflidence like some presidents whose names rhyme with tush. He's a smart man, and he's sharp and successful. But we're talking strictly business. When I first began to watch Rick Santorum's attempts to bring us back to the good old days of puritan England I thought it was kind of funny to watch Romney try to sidestep the issues or awkwardly stutter through them. He's a smart man but he just does naaaahhhhht care about whether or not women should be allowed to get abortions, or whether gay people are allowed to get married. He's not a stickler for family values he just wants to get our weight up. But being past that I'm beginning to wonder if his distinct lack of being well-rounded is going to be a hindrance to his ability to tactfully run a country if it comes down to it. Obama didn't come to us with the most extensive background but the man can work a room and it's helped us a lot with foreign relations and yes, even economically we have improved during the Obama administration. Romney may be able to do a lot business-wise for the country, hypothetically, but that doesn't mean he can have a conversation with a foreign national or handle basic diplomacy. I mean he was governor of Massachusetts - we're 84% white and the state is well-off that's like a Romney dinner party if you include the staff as the other 16%. It's kind of his gig.

It's kind of cute that his slander ads accuse Obama's administration of creating a 'war on job creators.' LOL war on the massively rich captains of industry god Obama is such a jerk for that. What a jerk for trying to tax the absurdly wealthy that's being so mean to the job creators. They're not going to create any more jobs if you keep asking them to pay money to the people who they are offering a future to so that perhaps some day those destitute people may not have to rely on them for jobs. Jerk.

This is also an irritating quality of Mitt Romney's because for all of his business sense presidents don't actually have the power to create jobs. Despite what they all say they can't just open a magic door to all of the jobs that Obama has been too lazy to unlock. He can only hope that they can get Congress to go along with them on the plans they do want to make and that, my friends, is what we call a gridlock. It's coming for you too Mitt you're not special.

Happy weekend everyone

Nerdom

I finished my Game of Thrones prints I put a bunch of them up online you can find the rest of them here:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/Freshkicks

Why Tyrion Lannister is the best character in Game of Thrones

Hi there. Today is going to be a survey of the best character from Game of Thrones in my games of throney opinion, and that would be Tyrion Lannister. Peter Dinklage did a great interview about the character on NPR it's available here and I think you should check it out.

I'm going to be discussing Tyrion through the third book. And books, not the show because although show Tyrion is very good book Tyrion is a bit more persuasive.

There's a great line in book four that Jaime's Aunt Genna says to him in regards to Lord Tywin's son. And Jaime is all, yeah true I know I am it's whatever and she says no, Jaime. Tyrion is Tywin's son.

I love this, because there's so many conversations between Tywin and Tyrion that paint a genuinely painful picture of Tywin's resentment and hatred of Tyrion. How he wishes he wasn't his son and feels obligated to do something with him since he still bears their name and the name Lannister must command respect. And I mean these discussions are painful. Tywin does nothing to spare Tyrions feelings, and makes more than one point to explain to Tyrion how he killed his own mother in being born. But it's true, regardless, that Tyrion has the wit and intelligence of Tywin where Cercei and Jaime have boldness and charisma.

Tyrion is an underestimated character, and a tragic hero. He's the only Lannister (aside from Jaime later on in the books) who shows any real empathy for those involved in the game of thrones and is not just looking out for himself. He does that pretty well, but because he has struggled and been humiliated all his life he makes a point to make up for it in wits and intelligence (a point he makes early on) and yet even then gets little reprieve. The people of King's Landing still blame him for everything that goes wrong even though he's the only character who has the ability to make anything right. Awkward.

But what makes him the best character ultimately is his incredible ability to see everything around him with a shrewd but also humane perspective. I love the way he manipulates the council, and I love the way he is always self aware and questioning himself and who he has been and those around him. Usually the questioning from those around him are about who is lying, cheating and manipulating and while Tyrion is exemplary at that he also makes a point to understand the motive and emotions behind the actions so that he never forgets that in the game these are people, not just pawns. This is brilliant because it creates a character that is actually worth caring about. Everyone else is either too weak or too strong. George RR Martin writes characters driven by greed, lust, power and honor. No matter what other struggles they go through their drives make it clear. Tyrion is driven by nothing other than his will to survive his own reality. In this he is empathetic to the struggle of others and this dynamism gives him a depth and a sentiment that no other character possesses.

SPOILERS for book four because I need to discuss Tyrion's epic breakdown.

Who else was heartbroken that Shae totally betrayed him. I mean Tyrion just CANNOT catch a break in these stories he will continually be humiliated and betrayed. Which is why his unraveling is so gratifying. I suppose his last conversation with Jaime could have been avoided I don't think that did much help for anyone but I love that Shae gets what she deserves and I love that the bane of Tywin's existence is what ultimately took him down. If you kick someone enough times they'll probably shoot you in the abdomen with a crossbow, just sayin Tywin. Should have rethought that lord of Casterly Rock thing and maybe not publicly shit on your son every day of the week, BAM. ROASTED.

I have not started book 5 but I know that Tyrion is going to be in book 6 and I can't wait to horrify my grandchildren with it when it finally comes out. When I'm 80.

Avenge bender

So I went and saw The Avengers, unfortunately I was unprepared and had to make my friend explain the story of Captain America to me over enough explosions to give Michael Bay a semi. But from the knowledge I do have of the other characters, it was a genuinely indulgent display of pure badassery and comedic timing.

And the direction and screenplay were both Joss Whedon. JOSS WHEDON, you guys. And girls, and nerds. I buy shamelessly into anything Joss Whedon does it's the curse of having been an antisocial nerd in the 90s. There are vague spoilers I'm not doing much with the plot.

First of all I'd like to say the unnecessary casting of Cobie Smulders as agent catsuit earpiece was a waste of the film budget.

Sooo I know people probably come up to you all the time and say this but I really want to talk about The Hulk. I'm as embarrassed for the Hulk movies as the next person with sensory perception (but not nearly as embarrassed as I will be for the next Spiderman movie, there truly is no god). Despite this I bit the bullet and went to see Edward Norton in the last film. Heck I'd probably go see Edward Norton do the Blue Man Group. And mildly enjoyed it, like some kind of half melted ice cream you go ahead and eat anyway. But Mark Ruffalo, I have to say that guy brought sympathy to the character that Edward Norton for all of his acting charms just does not possess and it gave Bruce Banner at least 4 new levels of depth. I feel perpetually underwhelmed with how filmmakers manage the Hulk - Bruce Banner is such an interesting emotional study and all they want is to distract you with CGI and heavy breathing. I bet if Christopher Nolan got his hands on it we would all be weeping by the end; there is a real story to the man behind the monster that I feel cheated out of every single time. But kudos to Mark Ruffalo for actually reminding me that he's a person and not just mad guy/green guy/brooding guy the end.

Soundbites about the movie:

- Smarmy cameo by Gwenyth Paltrow as Pepper Potts,
- Awkward nod to the Thor move with a cameo of...a picture of Natalie Portman...
- A cameo by Alexis Denisoff that I just learned about and am devastated to have missed
- Teen boys were rewarded with Scarlett Johansson's almost-cleavage and gratuitous posterior shots (before remembering they can google more explicit materials using an iphone)

And the older crowd got to see Chris Evans drop a few greatest generation one liners and wear pants too high up his waist. Robert Downey Junior taught comedic timing a lesson like he literally cannot fail to do and Samuel L. Jackson came on screen and children wet themselves two theaters over. That man could kill a bear with his eyes.

Also Stellan Skarsgard, who I have been having a screen to face affair with lately is just a great addition to any movie. And maybe this is because I have a huge crush on his son and his accent but I'm really happy whenever he gets cast. I recently watched Melancholia (2011) and genuinely appreciated the few scenes he was in, before spiraling into a brief existential depression. Don't watch that movie if you want to do anything with your day.

Tom Hiddleston (IMDB him he looks like someone poured milk over a wax figure) was passable as Loki, although he doesn't really betray much at all with his face or demeanor. I thought they could have picked somebody much more sinister looking maybe with kind of a pitiful edge. I feel like this Loki would be a better character if he ever looked anything but annoyed or amused. He's supposed to be all about jealousy and self-loathing with a desire to prove himself through misguided violence but mostly he just looks smug. And Thor continues to play the brother card I mean at what point do you say dude, you're not invited to my wedding and no you can't borrow any more money. He's a bad brother, bro. He just stabbed you.

There were lots of action sequences, lasers and gunfire and flying mechanical centipede fish and screaming civilians. Threat of nuclear attack that SLJ's character tried to stop by blowing up the offending plane with a bazooka (Hollywood logic wins again) and enough CGI to feed a small family for a year. Is it weird that I watched aliens destroy movie Manhattan and my first thought was 'I can't imagine how New York is going to get the governmental funding to rebuild the infrastructure and house all of these displaced persons.' The answer is yes.

Ultimately it was really well done. Superhero movies have a tendency to be lukewarm or overshot and I thought they cast this one fantastically (aside from the abscence of Michael Fassbender which brings every movie down a little bit) and that extra final scene at the end was pure gold. If nothing else go sit through the coming attractions so you can see the new Dark Knight Rises preview.

Still waiting for the war on reality TV.

So, guys. It's looking like Romney is going to be our GOP candidate. As soon as you finish picking your JAWS up off the floor, I'd like to discuss the War on Women, because I think it warrants even more attention.

I guess one could call this Santorum's final joke on Romney...he created a war on women during his campaign, and then dropped out so that Romney could scramble to pick up the pieces and try to convince women that he doesn't hate them and would they just please please vote for him because he spent a lot of money on his smile coach and if he loses and runs again he's going to be unfriended from the GOP. So once again, as is Romney's fate, his party has villainized something that Romney has to awkwardly stand for and against. I don't believe Romney gives one mansion whether women get equal pay or free abortions or insurance covered birth control. It sucks for him that he now has to explain himself for an idea his party propogated. But here we go, and actually being one of those central to this debate I find it particularly interesting to watch.

The one thing the Republicans are trying is to make it seem as though Obama DOESN'T support women, which is a classic tactic - create a massive campaign about a social issue involving women and when women don't like it pretend the other guy did it first. They're claiming women lost more jobs than men during the recession.

A. Obama didn't cause the recession he inhereted it from his great great grandfather, Iraq War. It isn't entirely fair to pretend that it's his recession, and whatever happened after the point of impact between the stock market and America's concrete floor was already in motion.

B. What on earth could Obama have to do with women losing more jobs than men. That's like blaming your coach for the fact that you were picked last in kickball.

So now we are going to sit through this tedious debate about whether he's going to get women voters or not. And this is where the whole Conservative Backlash comes into it. The bible belt loved Santorum, the deep south had Santorum themed birthday parties and I'm sure they printed tshirts with his face at Jesus camp. This was great for preserving the archaic ideas of conservatism. Yay for conservatism, now let's exit the B.C. era and discuss what this means for modern day America. They now have to convince American women that wanting to take away all your rights and revert to a patriarchical society doesn't mean we HATE you, come on you guys are being dramatic. So overly emotional.

Actually it's interesting that these candidates and pundits created the War on Women, coined the name and created all of the controversy, and women had nothing to do with it's conception (insert pun here) we just watched the horror unfold. Sort of an absurd situation to be in - you just decided that you are going to argue about how much I am allowed to matter and suddenly, I couldn't possibly matter more to you. Somebody has to appreciate the joke here.

But more to the point there is something disheartening about watching the candidates grovel for my vote. Shouldn't you people have not put me in this position to begin with? Why am I having to listen to you defend your support for women, why are women the ones getting picked out of the crowd here. There is an understanding of wanting certain minority votes - the Hispanic vote, the African American vote, etc. And that's because these groups of people are part of relatively underrepresented but powerful groups that could be the push needed to move an election one way or another. That's understandable, you want to move the needle slightly in your favor. What isn't understandable is why you are now trying to convince a group that makes up most of America that you don't actually hate us. Think about that - if all women voted one way or all women voted another way all of the time, there would no longer be a democracy. It would be a Femocracy. Again I find the humor in a debate about how many rights women should be given and what rights should be taken away, or how much women are allowed to matter. Maybe this is the kind of thing that should have entered the minds of candidates and controversy mongerers when they decided to wage a war on the majority of America.

As such I find it condescending to listen to them all discuss why we actually matter to THEM. Because that's the issue here - how much does Mitt Romney want women to have rights? What has Obama does lately that's helped women? I'd love to know when I can shut off my tv and take for granted that I can achieve whatever I'd like to without having to be reassured that a discussion of my rights is in my best interest.

April showers bring crushed Republican dreams

So the news has just broken, along with bible belt hearts across the country, that Rick Santorum has suspended his presidential bid. I bet Romney will throw himself a party to celebrate, and the music will be the sighs of relief from all women, democrats and gay individuals. Romney's new best friends.

Gingrich is pulling along, as he is inclined to do, so that there is a real conservative in the race still. He could just not show up at all I'm not sure many people would notice. Not that Romney makes a huge impression but it's not like anybody is looking at what's behind him anymore.

It's not as though it's going to be an easier ride for Romney from here on out, though. Now all of the attention will be on him and we all know how Romney usually conducts himself under the spotlight. Let the awkward comments roll.


Winter is coming, Mitt.

Will the real Mitt Romney please stand up?

If anybody hasn't seen that video yet stop reading and go to YouTube right now.

The playground is getting rougher and shovier over in the Primary race. Bush has backed Romney, Gingrich's best $$$$$ friend is looking to ditch him because he's..losing... and Santorum is fishing in the bottom half of the country for all of his new friends. God help us if he wins Texas.

It's as if everyone was invited to a birthday party at Obama's and nobody wanted to go but their parents made them.

Sorry for all of the middle school references I've been reading a lot about the movie 'Bully' and I'm having flashbacks to the cruel and sadly appropriate age the candidates are acting.

K, SO.

Everyone is tired of this race already. Everybody is just screaming over each other and it's becoming redundant so today I thought I'd make Batman analogies instead.

Even though Santorum took up Mississippi, Alabama and Louisianna - the three states arguably most mocked for their wholesome good hearted southern backwardsness, Romney is still considered the most viable of the race so far. It's not just that he's pocketed the most delegates or that he will one day grow up to be the guy from Monopoly, it's that he's just more moderate and it's less scary.

So let's put Romney and Santorum in the context of Batman villains to explain why Romney is the most relatable and defeatable. And let's say Santorum is, idunno, the Scarecrow. This guy loves fear mongering, he loves to discuss Satan I don't know if the Scarecrow was into that but I'm sure it doesn't hurt to assume. He wants to take over America with a mix of noxious fear and what is most likely pent up aggression about all the guilt of masturbation he had to deal with growing up. Romney will be the Penguin. I recognize that Dick Cheney embodies this but I'm going to allow dual association here because they are both Penguin in their own way. Romney: misunderstood, and one of the rare few who makes sense wearing a monacle. He wants to be adored, and to lead an army of freaks (the exorbitantly rich) out of the sewers (mansions) to take over Gotham (America). Cheney just resembled him more, and probably eats raw animals as well. I don't know I can only assume.

I'd like to say this makes Obama Batman, and so I will. The tragic hero set up to be the face of everything Gothmerica loves and fears, needs and resents and will be blamed when things go wrong. Unfortunately I can't think of a single Batman plot that ever involved hours of Batman and the villains arguing over taking away women's rights or whether everybody should be allowed accessible health care. Actually scratch that it's not unfortuante at all, it would make for an incredibly tedious and irritating graphic novel and a boring career for Frank Miller. Although I'm sure Christopher Nolan could still have adapted a badass movie of it.

This would make Max Shreck the GOP trying to help Romney Cobblepot talk to the public and run for office. Although I think Max Shreck did a better job but, whatever they both hate their candidate so it's a tough situation from the get-go. Although I think things will end more savagely than they did in Batman Returns because the fight is going to be through the media and I don't know about you but I think that is far more dangerous than a bunch of missile-strapped penguins. But still the public can get behind him because, you know, you kind of want to see what he'll do next. And yet Obatman will eventually defeat this Rompenguin because nomatter how attractive new tries to be if it's still a raw fish eating weirdo underneath it's going to shine through. This is a moral.

Santorum as the Scarecrow attracts exactly the crowd that would be into hallucinogens. God's hallucinogens in his case. And all he wants to do is destroy Gotham (America) by spreading his poison gas (self-righteous rhetoric on how only Christians know how to handle social issues) everywhere to KILL the citizens (' rights and freedoms to make choices that aren't in the bible). Scarecrow did it because he was picked on as a child. HM.

Batman gets him too.

Okay that's my daily quota of Batman Politics. A topic I am perpetually happy to revisit.

White men can't jump (or have children).

So I've been sitting on this topic for a while, just letting it heat up to boiling point. I've debated getting into the use of women's rights as a political tactic because it is very difficult to make a strong argument for women as a woman, in that hypocritical patriarchical way our country identifies with, but it's something that calls for defense regardless. It's particularly difficult to be female defending females, because society and media has made damn sure that women hating women is what men are most comfortable with. But here we are, front and center again so if anyone wants to call it a feminist rant or blame my hormones, you can come say it to my face.

Where to even begin. So it's come to my (and the entire northern hemisphere's) attention that abortion and contraceptive use is what's wrong with this country. Here is my abridged list of what I consider to actually be wrong with this country, in light of this political atmosphere:


1. Rush Limbaugh. Attacking a private citizen about her sex life is pretty 90's, bro. Not to mention ethically abhorrent, because if you can reduce an educated woman who is exercising free speech to make a case for contraceptive coverage to a prostitute, I wonder how loosely we can use that definition in the future. Birth control has many purposes, not all of which are about having sex. There are plenty of health related reasons women use contraceptives, reasons Rush Limbaugh is happy to ignore in order to call women who use birth control sluts and tell them that he wants to watch their sex tapes. Both creepy and ignorant. You should do that bit at your birthday party. Invite all of your sponsors they'll love it.

2. The fact that we are discussing abortion. STILL. How often is a progressive move like legalizing abortion overturned? Where is the logic decades after Roe v. Wade, as we move forward generationally and as a culture that we would choose to suddenly regress into some kind of puritanical society where women are forced to have a child nomatter how it was conceived? This is like some bizarre dystopian nightmare. I have no idea why it's okay for grown men to cover their ears and try to scream over the reality of rape, incest and broken condoms. I'd say generally when push comes to shove a broken condom is going to present a stronger argument than God when it comes to the decidision to have a child. Wrapping this issue up in the misinformed, stifling blanket of pro-life doesn't change the reality that it is anti-choice. Not taking into account that there is a certain psychological trauma that is inherent in having a child of rape or incest, and that this child that you're so graciously forcing all precious life upon even though nobody asked you, old white men, to do that, this child may end up living a life fraught with resentment and confusion because you have forced an identity on another human being that they did not ask for.

So thanks again, privilaged white men I'm sure have thoroughly googled this and know exactly what it must feel like to be forced to have a child. Puritan America really was the golden age.
Oh and make sure to really hammer home your future points about people abusing the welfare system when we're dealing with over population. Be sure all the teenage moms and low-income mothers who had their rapists babies aren't trying to pull a fast one on the rest of privilaged America.

3. Arguing that Americans are paying for abortions and for contraceptives. Hey reality called it wants it's overwhelming social cost of unexpected pregnancy back.

4. Rick Santorum is a self-righteous jackass.


There are hundreds more points I can make about this country but I am trying not to dissolve this into a cantakerous survey or a forum to preach. Believing in God or being 'pro-life' for yourself is not the problem, the suggestion that believing in God makes you worthy of making everyone else's decisions for them is the problem. This issue has become especially potent because I consider it to be condescending, regressive and a waste of everybody's time.

Happy Super Tuesday Y'all

So I'm sitting in my liberal apartment in the liberal Democratic SHARP left turn of the state of Massachusetts. Watching the Super Tuesday results roooooollllll in (by the way Santorum has 12% here in MA of course we hate him).

As expected Romney is sweeping his way across the PriCaucusi, snagging Virginia, Vermont, Massachusetts (uhduh), Ohio and Oklahoma. Santorum has Tennessee (jealous, Romney?) and Newt Gingrich probably has a box of tissues at his side. I'm sure Ron Paul has changed the channel by now. 

Newt Gingrich is giving another condescending speech to the audience, ever the bored bitchy teenager complaining to her friends while his wax statue of a wife stands next to him trying to avoid open flame. Don't light your cigarettes near Callista. I bet Santorum is googling 'how babies r made,' because it just makes him so mad and Romney is burning money and laughing since that's how he winds down after a long day.

I can't believe someone hasn't slapped a muzzle on Santorum yet since it's as if every statement that comes out of his mouth is something he picked because he closed his eyes and pointed at a page from the bible. How does somebody being considered for an actual influential position in 2012 get away with saying that rape victims should be forced to have their rapists baby, or that women in combat might compromise a situation because of their emotions. Or that Obama saying that he wants every American child to go to college makes him a SNOB. Seriously who edits this guys speeches? People actually applauded that. Yeah, you're right elitist Obama wants all of America's children to have the opportunity for higher education that is soooo snobby. I can't even believe he wants to make it possible for every child to have the same opportunity that is just a perfect example of the exclusionary and discriminatory behavior generally associated with snobbery PFFT. GOD, Obama. Not everybody is so goddamn fancy as you are. 

Every time Santorum opens his mouth plenty of people who write their opinions on these issues takes to their laptops in a blind fury, and this is not the time to digress into a full fledged rant because this is a holiday after all, but I will for the record express my disbelief at the fact that he is still awkwardly explaining his backwards and extraordinarily detrimental values to anybody who will listen. Oh, and he also said he plans to retroactively nullify all gay marriages in the 8 states that allow them so, we have that to look forward to in the quantum universe in which Santorum has a chance.

 

OhRomneycare.

So this story caught my eye this week - Santorum went after the Massachusetts Healthcare Plan that Romney helped initiate in 2006, calling it 'An Abject Failure.'

Clearly Santorum is not doing his homework. Here's how I know that: because he's wrong.

In fact, the Massachusetts Healthcare reform was arguably one of the best things that could have happened for the state in recent years. More than 98% of MA residents are covered, essentially every child and it only cost the state a staggering ONE PERCENT in additional spending. In short, it was A Decisive Success, Rick. Google it.

So I know Mitt Romney is a ridiculous Ken doll of a man in his public life but this is definitely as aspect of his political career that I will happily brag about as a Massgal (a term I just made up and will never use again). I'm not saying this necessarily makes him a better contender for President, and I'm not saying I call my friends up on the weeknights to gab about Romney's latest mom jeans, what I am saying is that this decision for the state was anything BUT a failure. And herein lies the most painful irony of the rest of the hunger games Presidential Campaign.

The fact that Santorum is already going around bashing 'Romneycare,' which is something nobody in Massachusetts actually calls it, is going to be a really difficult issue for Romney to defend. On the one hand, the bill worked for Massachusetts. It was great for Massachusetts - our overall health is up and it's not generally crippling to business, large or small. But if he defends it, he's four steps farther to the left of Conservatism, an image he's already struggling to maintain. However if he decries it he will be flip flopping even more fervently and it will hurt his interest to repudiate his own (correct) decision, which he should be able to brag about as a political success. Tough call, Mittens.

I think it will be worth noting how Romney handles this future awkward dinner party of an issue. One of his biggest political successes is now going to be working against him and it won't matter much that Massachusetts might wholly agree with it because come the actual election this state is going to remain as blue as they come. Seriously, I'd see the lone McCain bumper sticker in 2008 and wonder if they were lost. It's valiant in it's own way to support a Republican Presidential candidate here but come on, we all know you just wasted $2.50.

I suppose in a country where Socialism is a dirty word any uniform law on a social issue, even one as important as our health, is considered a breach of our rights. Our rights to health? I can't help but notice that this is not a strong argument against Romney's politics, this is just bad math.

Link..

http://www.npr.org/2012/02/08/146583319/double-take-toons-the-hat-rick

This is great.

Santorum - Viable candidate, or long running GOP joke about being a politician against gay marriage?

So. Rick Santorum. Taking the election by storm (or so they tell us).
It seems that with Santorum's sudden rise he is the candidate who we should be recognizing as the key threat to Romney, Gingrich and Paul. Of course, this is a fun development albeit not one that I think should have people buying their Santorum for President decals and grocery totes juuust yet.

In terms of the media circus surrounding the primaries and caucuses (caucii? I like that better) it's certainly more entertaining to keep the field from narrowing too much this early on. And Santorum has a lot to say that the media is more than happy to give him stage time for. This is the common issue with these kinds of spikes in the primaries - nomatter how much attention you give to the guy who's got the hot button issue, in the end only the smallest, least electorally represented groups are going to really WANT that man in control. I consider this true in the case of Rick Santorum. People were zombie walking toward the proverbial 'anti-aboration baby killing socialist machine' sign flashing behind him and just bumped into him along the way. Bam. Voted for.

So let's suspend disbelief for a moment and pretend that Santorum were actually chosen at the RNC. Now imagine he won the same three states - Colorado, Montana and Missouri, for a total of 29 electoral college votes. Now consider that Romney won Florida, which has 29 electoral votes in itself. That's not counting the other two he's won so far. I'm not saying that Santorum doesn't have a chance, I'm just saying the numbers matter. A candidate winning a state that has more eventual electoral votes during the Primary actually means a lot more than how many states a candidate has won, regardless of the supposed victory. The more represented states are the ones that people should be looking at, because come convention time it's more likely the GOP will choose the candidate people like more in the harsh flourescent light of population density.

Ultimately I think Santorum is going to get the attention he needs to still be considered viable, maybe snag a couple of more states who knows maybe go out and get that new tie he's been eyeballing at Banana Republic for when he has to make his concession speech to Romney (....) and eventually they will get John Slattery to play him in the movie of the Years America Unraveled. You need to picture that title with a Jane Austen character staring across a field at a sunset with wind blowing through their hair.

Shame

Over the weekend I went to see the movie 'Shame,' a film by Steve McQueen chronicling the life of a sex addict - Brandon Sullivan - played by Michael Fassbender, also known for a small role Lt. Archie Hilcox in Inglorious Basterds and a surprisingly emotional role as the young Magneto in X-Men: First Class. Here is where Michael Fassbender first caught my eye. Up until then the X-Men series has played out as more of an unhappy family reunion of celebrities.

In 'Shame,' Fassbender gives an authentically disturbing, evoking and painful performance. His character Brandon is a sex addict whose sister comes to visit him (Carey Mulligan, reprising her irritatingly typecast role as the withering victim) and throws his life sharply off balance. First we get a good look at Brandon's social, professional and personal life. A look into these aspects of his life in such sharp focus that I dare you not to feel like a pervert for just sitting through it. It's incredibly effective, and sets the stage for every painfully congenital moment in the film's arc.

Carey Mulligan (playing Sissy Sullivan) does a great job of making you feel both sympathetic toward and totally turned off by her needy, energetic and pathetic disposition. At the point in the film where she makes an appearance the audience is already so wrapped up in Brandon's life that we can't help but vicariously bristle at the intrusion. This makes the volatile dynamic between the siblings all the more raw, the tension between them bubbling up and over multiple times resulting in the fierce manifestations of Brandon's inner demons.

Of course, only with an actor like Michael Fassbender can this evoke such a visceral and acute response to a dynamic. I will go as far as to say that I have never felt so much through a character as Michael Fassbender made me feel through Brandon. Though the audience is given access to Brandon's daily life and rituals we are never subject to his thoughts or to his actual processes. We are tourists, trying to understand a man through only his face and his routines and I have to say I have trouble thinking of any actor that can put so much intensity into any scene using only his expression. The script isn't dialogue heavy - the subtle tremors of emotion in Fassbender's expression and the score serve as more than enough to get you to not only connect on an alarmingly real level with the character but to self reflect in a way that will make you uncomfortable with yourself. Watching Fassbender play this incredibly controlled, tragic man will give you the same discomfort that you might feel watching somebody grieve. Probably because in a lot of ways you are.

Steve McQueen directs the film in a way I can best describe as patient. If you haven't caught on by now, you are more than likely going to find yourself in a state of tension for the entire film. But McQueen doesn't rush it, he doesn't give the audience the gratification of moving things along or of finding resolution. His direction is patient, at times drawn out and it never lets you get away with sitting back and assuming things will be fine. His directing along with the score takes it's time, makes you sit with Brandon through every painful moment of his life because he's not going to let you off that easily. You don't get to just infer the suffering of this man, you are going to watch it unfold in real time. This is where the film's power comes from. Instead of rushing the scenes, creating distracting dialogue and making Brandon universally relatable the camera lingers long enough on Fassbender's face during scenes so graphic (emotionally and at times sexually) that you can barely sit still, creating the almost unbearable discomfort that defines his character.

All in all, an incredible film. I can't recommend it enough - just make sure you don't have any social plans after seeing it because this one will stay with you for a while.

You can find the trailor here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62nelnMXW3M
If you've seen it, what do you think?

More like Cam-pain

The circus of campaign politics is like a painfully staged reality show. It's like the Jersey shore with more moderators and just narrowly less nauseating. It's got the same desperate composure that contestants on Survivor try to maintain. It's like the Real Housewives of the United States, with all the fake smiles and backhanded accusations. I'm pretty sure Rick Perry already broke a nail or two trying to claw his way out of his own public image.

My real interest lies in how the drama of campaigning for the Presidency this term is going to unfold. It's an interesting climate - The Obama Administration has made some of it's more drastic changes in the past two years, with Obamacare, Bin Laden and the brand new headlines about a drop in the unemployment rate all making his resume look a little more sparkling than it did in year one. The GOP has less to point fingers about, but that isn't their biggest problem. The most interesting aspect of the campaign is going to be watching whichever Republican candidate that gets chosen (ahemittromney) try to sell themselves as the better choice. This is the issue the Republican party faces - they've had a good 3+ years complaining about what's wrong with the Obama presidency but now the spotlight has swung their way and finally they get to answer the million dollar (or trillion, depending on which debt you're looking at) question, 'well what have you got to show us that's better?'

They gave us Herman Cain, whom I can't believe was taken seriously as long as he was, Rick Santorum, whom I heard in one debate actually claim as president he would go to war with China, Newt Gingrich who is like the guy in your office that steals all the nice pens and keeps looking for them with everyone else, Rick Perry (ouch), Michelle Bachmann whose bible belt just did not match the GOPs outfit, Mitt Romney who makes plastic itself feel inadequate, and Ron Paul who... okay next candidate.

The two front running candidates that are now narrowing the field are going to make this even more fun. Newt Gingrich is the extreme, not quite as painful to watch as a Sarah Palin or Herman Cain but still kind of a loose canon. Mitt Romney well, that man needs a Raegan-sized team of advisors to get him to just close his wallet and walk away from the microphone. I've never heard anybody make such an absurd amount of gaffes about the same subject. Stop talking about money, Mitt. It isn't water.

I have a feeling this whole thing is going to play out like one big Arrested Development joke.

That is the subject matter for this forum. Along with some commentaries on movies and tv, which, fair warning, will mostly be about Batman. Happy Friday everyone.