Avenge bender

So I went and saw The Avengers, unfortunately I was unprepared and had to make my friend explain the story of Captain America to me over enough explosions to give Michael Bay a semi. But from the knowledge I do have of the other characters, it was a genuinely indulgent display of pure badassery and comedic timing.

And the direction and screenplay were both Joss Whedon. JOSS WHEDON, you guys. And girls, and nerds. I buy shamelessly into anything Joss Whedon does it's the curse of having been an antisocial nerd in the 90s. There are vague spoilers I'm not doing much with the plot.

First of all I'd like to say the unnecessary casting of Cobie Smulders as agent catsuit earpiece was a waste of the film budget.

Sooo I know people probably come up to you all the time and say this but I really want to talk about The Hulk. I'm as embarrassed for the Hulk movies as the next person with sensory perception (but not nearly as embarrassed as I will be for the next Spiderman movie, there truly is no god). Despite this I bit the bullet and went to see Edward Norton in the last film. Heck I'd probably go see Edward Norton do the Blue Man Group. And mildly enjoyed it, like some kind of half melted ice cream you go ahead and eat anyway. But Mark Ruffalo, I have to say that guy brought sympathy to the character that Edward Norton for all of his acting charms just does not possess and it gave Bruce Banner at least 4 new levels of depth. I feel perpetually underwhelmed with how filmmakers manage the Hulk - Bruce Banner is such an interesting emotional study and all they want is to distract you with CGI and heavy breathing. I bet if Christopher Nolan got his hands on it we would all be weeping by the end; there is a real story to the man behind the monster that I feel cheated out of every single time. But kudos to Mark Ruffalo for actually reminding me that he's a person and not just mad guy/green guy/brooding guy the end.

Soundbites about the movie:

- Smarmy cameo by Gwenyth Paltrow as Pepper Potts,
- Awkward nod to the Thor move with a cameo of...a picture of Natalie Portman...
- A cameo by Alexis Denisoff that I just learned about and am devastated to have missed
- Teen boys were rewarded with Scarlett Johansson's almost-cleavage and gratuitous posterior shots (before remembering they can google more explicit materials using an iphone)

And the older crowd got to see Chris Evans drop a few greatest generation one liners and wear pants too high up his waist. Robert Downey Junior taught comedic timing a lesson like he literally cannot fail to do and Samuel L. Jackson came on screen and children wet themselves two theaters over. That man could kill a bear with his eyes.

Also Stellan Skarsgard, who I have been having a screen to face affair with lately is just a great addition to any movie. And maybe this is because I have a huge crush on his son and his accent but I'm really happy whenever he gets cast. I recently watched Melancholia (2011) and genuinely appreciated the few scenes he was in, before spiraling into a brief existential depression. Don't watch that movie if you want to do anything with your day.

Tom Hiddleston (IMDB him he looks like someone poured milk over a wax figure) was passable as Loki, although he doesn't really betray much at all with his face or demeanor. I thought they could have picked somebody much more sinister looking maybe with kind of a pitiful edge. I feel like this Loki would be a better character if he ever looked anything but annoyed or amused. He's supposed to be all about jealousy and self-loathing with a desire to prove himself through misguided violence but mostly he just looks smug. And Thor continues to play the brother card I mean at what point do you say dude, you're not invited to my wedding and no you can't borrow any more money. He's a bad brother, bro. He just stabbed you.

There were lots of action sequences, lasers and gunfire and flying mechanical centipede fish and screaming civilians. Threat of nuclear attack that SLJ's character tried to stop by blowing up the offending plane with a bazooka (Hollywood logic wins again) and enough CGI to feed a small family for a year. Is it weird that I watched aliens destroy movie Manhattan and my first thought was 'I can't imagine how New York is going to get the governmental funding to rebuild the infrastructure and house all of these displaced persons.' The answer is yes.

Ultimately it was really well done. Superhero movies have a tendency to be lukewarm or overshot and I thought they cast this one fantastically (aside from the abscence of Michael Fassbender which brings every movie down a little bit) and that extra final scene at the end was pure gold. If nothing else go sit through the coming attractions so you can see the new Dark Knight Rises preview.