Michael Bay's new film: War on Job Creators. The senate is EXPLODING with various bills that will need future review.

Does anybody else immediately put up an NPR tab when they open internet explorer just because it's comforting?

So it looks like the campaign is finally getting down to brass tacks again. I haven't read a story about abortion is weeks. We're back to scandals and the failing economy, everybody's favorite choices in Draw Something.

At least Mitt Romney will be happy about it he digs the economy. He loves money, just ask him he'll tell you all about it. Although there haven't been any presidents thus far who have been primarily CEO's, and I've heard some interesting theorizing about how he's going to handle the rest of the workload. I've said it before and I'll say it again I've never thought that Mitt Romney would make a bad president. We don't have glaring red flags of alcohol abuse and undeserved blind conflidence like some presidents whose names rhyme with tush. He's a smart man, and he's sharp and successful. But we're talking strictly business. When I first began to watch Rick Santorum's attempts to bring us back to the good old days of puritan England I thought it was kind of funny to watch Romney try to sidestep the issues or awkwardly stutter through them. He's a smart man but he just does naaaahhhhht care about whether or not women should be allowed to get abortions, or whether gay people are allowed to get married. He's not a stickler for family values he just wants to get our weight up. But being past that I'm beginning to wonder if his distinct lack of being well-rounded is going to be a hindrance to his ability to tactfully run a country if it comes down to it. Obama didn't come to us with the most extensive background but the man can work a room and it's helped us a lot with foreign relations and yes, even economically we have improved during the Obama administration. Romney may be able to do a lot business-wise for the country, hypothetically, but that doesn't mean he can have a conversation with a foreign national or handle basic diplomacy. I mean he was governor of Massachusetts - we're 84% white and the state is well-off that's like a Romney dinner party if you include the staff as the other 16%. It's kind of his gig.

It's kind of cute that his slander ads accuse Obama's administration of creating a 'war on job creators.' LOL war on the massively rich captains of industry god Obama is such a jerk for that. What a jerk for trying to tax the absurdly wealthy that's being so mean to the job creators. They're not going to create any more jobs if you keep asking them to pay money to the people who they are offering a future to so that perhaps some day those destitute people may not have to rely on them for jobs. Jerk.

This is also an irritating quality of Mitt Romney's because for all of his business sense presidents don't actually have the power to create jobs. Despite what they all say they can't just open a magic door to all of the jobs that Obama has been too lazy to unlock. He can only hope that they can get Congress to go along with them on the plans they do want to make and that, my friends, is what we call a gridlock. It's coming for you too Mitt you're not special.

Happy weekend everyone

Nerdom

I finished my Game of Thrones prints I put a bunch of them up online you can find the rest of them here:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/Freshkicks

Why Tyrion Lannister is the best character in Game of Thrones

Hi there. Today is going to be a survey of the best character from Game of Thrones in my games of throney opinion, and that would be Tyrion Lannister. Peter Dinklage did a great interview about the character on NPR it's available here and I think you should check it out.

I'm going to be discussing Tyrion through the third book. And books, not the show because although show Tyrion is very good book Tyrion is a bit more persuasive.

There's a great line in book four that Jaime's Aunt Genna says to him in regards to Lord Tywin's son. And Jaime is all, yeah true I know I am it's whatever and she says no, Jaime. Tyrion is Tywin's son.

I love this, because there's so many conversations between Tywin and Tyrion that paint a genuinely painful picture of Tywin's resentment and hatred of Tyrion. How he wishes he wasn't his son and feels obligated to do something with him since he still bears their name and the name Lannister must command respect. And I mean these discussions are painful. Tywin does nothing to spare Tyrions feelings, and makes more than one point to explain to Tyrion how he killed his own mother in being born. But it's true, regardless, that Tyrion has the wit and intelligence of Tywin where Cercei and Jaime have boldness and charisma.

Tyrion is an underestimated character, and a tragic hero. He's the only Lannister (aside from Jaime later on in the books) who shows any real empathy for those involved in the game of thrones and is not just looking out for himself. He does that pretty well, but because he has struggled and been humiliated all his life he makes a point to make up for it in wits and intelligence (a point he makes early on) and yet even then gets little reprieve. The people of King's Landing still blame him for everything that goes wrong even though he's the only character who has the ability to make anything right. Awkward.

But what makes him the best character ultimately is his incredible ability to see everything around him with a shrewd but also humane perspective. I love the way he manipulates the council, and I love the way he is always self aware and questioning himself and who he has been and those around him. Usually the questioning from those around him are about who is lying, cheating and manipulating and while Tyrion is exemplary at that he also makes a point to understand the motive and emotions behind the actions so that he never forgets that in the game these are people, not just pawns. This is brilliant because it creates a character that is actually worth caring about. Everyone else is either too weak or too strong. George RR Martin writes characters driven by greed, lust, power and honor. No matter what other struggles they go through their drives make it clear. Tyrion is driven by nothing other than his will to survive his own reality. In this he is empathetic to the struggle of others and this dynamism gives him a depth and a sentiment that no other character possesses.

SPOILERS for book four because I need to discuss Tyrion's epic breakdown.

Who else was heartbroken that Shae totally betrayed him. I mean Tyrion just CANNOT catch a break in these stories he will continually be humiliated and betrayed. Which is why his unraveling is so gratifying. I suppose his last conversation with Jaime could have been avoided I don't think that did much help for anyone but I love that Shae gets what she deserves and I love that the bane of Tywin's existence is what ultimately took him down. If you kick someone enough times they'll probably shoot you in the abdomen with a crossbow, just sayin Tywin. Should have rethought that lord of Casterly Rock thing and maybe not publicly shit on your son every day of the week, BAM. ROASTED.

I have not started book 5 but I know that Tyrion is going to be in book 6 and I can't wait to horrify my grandchildren with it when it finally comes out. When I'm 80.

Avenge bender

So I went and saw The Avengers, unfortunately I was unprepared and had to make my friend explain the story of Captain America to me over enough explosions to give Michael Bay a semi. But from the knowledge I do have of the other characters, it was a genuinely indulgent display of pure badassery and comedic timing.

And the direction and screenplay were both Joss Whedon. JOSS WHEDON, you guys. And girls, and nerds. I buy shamelessly into anything Joss Whedon does it's the curse of having been an antisocial nerd in the 90s. There are vague spoilers I'm not doing much with the plot.

First of all I'd like to say the unnecessary casting of Cobie Smulders as agent catsuit earpiece was a waste of the film budget.

Sooo I know people probably come up to you all the time and say this but I really want to talk about The Hulk. I'm as embarrassed for the Hulk movies as the next person with sensory perception (but not nearly as embarrassed as I will be for the next Spiderman movie, there truly is no god). Despite this I bit the bullet and went to see Edward Norton in the last film. Heck I'd probably go see Edward Norton do the Blue Man Group. And mildly enjoyed it, like some kind of half melted ice cream you go ahead and eat anyway. But Mark Ruffalo, I have to say that guy brought sympathy to the character that Edward Norton for all of his acting charms just does not possess and it gave Bruce Banner at least 4 new levels of depth. I feel perpetually underwhelmed with how filmmakers manage the Hulk - Bruce Banner is such an interesting emotional study and all they want is to distract you with CGI and heavy breathing. I bet if Christopher Nolan got his hands on it we would all be weeping by the end; there is a real story to the man behind the monster that I feel cheated out of every single time. But kudos to Mark Ruffalo for actually reminding me that he's a person and not just mad guy/green guy/brooding guy the end.

Soundbites about the movie:

- Smarmy cameo by Gwenyth Paltrow as Pepper Potts,
- Awkward nod to the Thor move with a cameo of...a picture of Natalie Portman...
- A cameo by Alexis Denisoff that I just learned about and am devastated to have missed
- Teen boys were rewarded with Scarlett Johansson's almost-cleavage and gratuitous posterior shots (before remembering they can google more explicit materials using an iphone)

And the older crowd got to see Chris Evans drop a few greatest generation one liners and wear pants too high up his waist. Robert Downey Junior taught comedic timing a lesson like he literally cannot fail to do and Samuel L. Jackson came on screen and children wet themselves two theaters over. That man could kill a bear with his eyes.

Also Stellan Skarsgard, who I have been having a screen to face affair with lately is just a great addition to any movie. And maybe this is because I have a huge crush on his son and his accent but I'm really happy whenever he gets cast. I recently watched Melancholia (2011) and genuinely appreciated the few scenes he was in, before spiraling into a brief existential depression. Don't watch that movie if you want to do anything with your day.

Tom Hiddleston (IMDB him he looks like someone poured milk over a wax figure) was passable as Loki, although he doesn't really betray much at all with his face or demeanor. I thought they could have picked somebody much more sinister looking maybe with kind of a pitiful edge. I feel like this Loki would be a better character if he ever looked anything but annoyed or amused. He's supposed to be all about jealousy and self-loathing with a desire to prove himself through misguided violence but mostly he just looks smug. And Thor continues to play the brother card I mean at what point do you say dude, you're not invited to my wedding and no you can't borrow any more money. He's a bad brother, bro. He just stabbed you.

There were lots of action sequences, lasers and gunfire and flying mechanical centipede fish and screaming civilians. Threat of nuclear attack that SLJ's character tried to stop by blowing up the offending plane with a bazooka (Hollywood logic wins again) and enough CGI to feed a small family for a year. Is it weird that I watched aliens destroy movie Manhattan and my first thought was 'I can't imagine how New York is going to get the governmental funding to rebuild the infrastructure and house all of these displaced persons.' The answer is yes.

Ultimately it was really well done. Superhero movies have a tendency to be lukewarm or overshot and I thought they cast this one fantastically (aside from the abscence of Michael Fassbender which brings every movie down a little bit) and that extra final scene at the end was pure gold. If nothing else go sit through the coming attractions so you can see the new Dark Knight Rises preview.

Still waiting for the war on reality TV.

So, guys. It's looking like Romney is going to be our GOP candidate. As soon as you finish picking your JAWS up off the floor, I'd like to discuss the War on Women, because I think it warrants even more attention.

I guess one could call this Santorum's final joke on Romney...he created a war on women during his campaign, and then dropped out so that Romney could scramble to pick up the pieces and try to convince women that he doesn't hate them and would they just please please vote for him because he spent a lot of money on his smile coach and if he loses and runs again he's going to be unfriended from the GOP. So once again, as is Romney's fate, his party has villainized something that Romney has to awkwardly stand for and against. I don't believe Romney gives one mansion whether women get equal pay or free abortions or insurance covered birth control. It sucks for him that he now has to explain himself for an idea his party propogated. But here we go, and actually being one of those central to this debate I find it particularly interesting to watch.

The one thing the Republicans are trying is to make it seem as though Obama DOESN'T support women, which is a classic tactic - create a massive campaign about a social issue involving women and when women don't like it pretend the other guy did it first. They're claiming women lost more jobs than men during the recession.

A. Obama didn't cause the recession he inhereted it from his great great grandfather, Iraq War. It isn't entirely fair to pretend that it's his recession, and whatever happened after the point of impact between the stock market and America's concrete floor was already in motion.

B. What on earth could Obama have to do with women losing more jobs than men. That's like blaming your coach for the fact that you were picked last in kickball.

So now we are going to sit through this tedious debate about whether he's going to get women voters or not. And this is where the whole Conservative Backlash comes into it. The bible belt loved Santorum, the deep south had Santorum themed birthday parties and I'm sure they printed tshirts with his face at Jesus camp. This was great for preserving the archaic ideas of conservatism. Yay for conservatism, now let's exit the B.C. era and discuss what this means for modern day America. They now have to convince American women that wanting to take away all your rights and revert to a patriarchical society doesn't mean we HATE you, come on you guys are being dramatic. So overly emotional.

Actually it's interesting that these candidates and pundits created the War on Women, coined the name and created all of the controversy, and women had nothing to do with it's conception (insert pun here) we just watched the horror unfold. Sort of an absurd situation to be in - you just decided that you are going to argue about how much I am allowed to matter and suddenly, I couldn't possibly matter more to you. Somebody has to appreciate the joke here.

But more to the point there is something disheartening about watching the candidates grovel for my vote. Shouldn't you people have not put me in this position to begin with? Why am I having to listen to you defend your support for women, why are women the ones getting picked out of the crowd here. There is an understanding of wanting certain minority votes - the Hispanic vote, the African American vote, etc. And that's because these groups of people are part of relatively underrepresented but powerful groups that could be the push needed to move an election one way or another. That's understandable, you want to move the needle slightly in your favor. What isn't understandable is why you are now trying to convince a group that makes up most of America that you don't actually hate us. Think about that - if all women voted one way or all women voted another way all of the time, there would no longer be a democracy. It would be a Femocracy. Again I find the humor in a debate about how many rights women should be given and what rights should be taken away, or how much women are allowed to matter. Maybe this is the kind of thing that should have entered the minds of candidates and controversy mongerers when they decided to wage a war on the majority of America.

As such I find it condescending to listen to them all discuss why we actually matter to THEM. Because that's the issue here - how much does Mitt Romney want women to have rights? What has Obama does lately that's helped women? I'd love to know when I can shut off my tv and take for granted that I can achieve whatever I'd like to without having to be reassured that a discussion of my rights is in my best interest.

April showers bring crushed Republican dreams

So the news has just broken, along with bible belt hearts across the country, that Rick Santorum has suspended his presidential bid. I bet Romney will throw himself a party to celebrate, and the music will be the sighs of relief from all women, democrats and gay individuals. Romney's new best friends.

Gingrich is pulling along, as he is inclined to do, so that there is a real conservative in the race still. He could just not show up at all I'm not sure many people would notice. Not that Romney makes a huge impression but it's not like anybody is looking at what's behind him anymore.

It's not as though it's going to be an easier ride for Romney from here on out, though. Now all of the attention will be on him and we all know how Romney usually conducts himself under the spotlight. Let the awkward comments roll.


Winter is coming, Mitt.

Will the real Mitt Romney please stand up?

If anybody hasn't seen that video yet stop reading and go to YouTube right now.

The playground is getting rougher and shovier over in the Primary race. Bush has backed Romney, Gingrich's best $$$$$ friend is looking to ditch him because he's..losing... and Santorum is fishing in the bottom half of the country for all of his new friends. God help us if he wins Texas.

It's as if everyone was invited to a birthday party at Obama's and nobody wanted to go but their parents made them.

Sorry for all of the middle school references I've been reading a lot about the movie 'Bully' and I'm having flashbacks to the cruel and sadly appropriate age the candidates are acting.

K, SO.

Everyone is tired of this race already. Everybody is just screaming over each other and it's becoming redundant so today I thought I'd make Batman analogies instead.

Even though Santorum took up Mississippi, Alabama and Louisianna - the three states arguably most mocked for their wholesome good hearted southern backwardsness, Romney is still considered the most viable of the race so far. It's not just that he's pocketed the most delegates or that he will one day grow up to be the guy from Monopoly, it's that he's just more moderate and it's less scary.

So let's put Romney and Santorum in the context of Batman villains to explain why Romney is the most relatable and defeatable. And let's say Santorum is, idunno, the Scarecrow. This guy loves fear mongering, he loves to discuss Satan I don't know if the Scarecrow was into that but I'm sure it doesn't hurt to assume. He wants to take over America with a mix of noxious fear and what is most likely pent up aggression about all the guilt of masturbation he had to deal with growing up. Romney will be the Penguin. I recognize that Dick Cheney embodies this but I'm going to allow dual association here because they are both Penguin in their own way. Romney: misunderstood, and one of the rare few who makes sense wearing a monacle. He wants to be adored, and to lead an army of freaks (the exorbitantly rich) out of the sewers (mansions) to take over Gotham (America). Cheney just resembled him more, and probably eats raw animals as well. I don't know I can only assume.

I'd like to say this makes Obama Batman, and so I will. The tragic hero set up to be the face of everything Gothmerica loves and fears, needs and resents and will be blamed when things go wrong. Unfortunately I can't think of a single Batman plot that ever involved hours of Batman and the villains arguing over taking away women's rights or whether everybody should be allowed accessible health care. Actually scratch that it's not unfortuante at all, it would make for an incredibly tedious and irritating graphic novel and a boring career for Frank Miller. Although I'm sure Christopher Nolan could still have adapted a badass movie of it.

This would make Max Shreck the GOP trying to help Romney Cobblepot talk to the public and run for office. Although I think Max Shreck did a better job but, whatever they both hate their candidate so it's a tough situation from the get-go. Although I think things will end more savagely than they did in Batman Returns because the fight is going to be through the media and I don't know about you but I think that is far more dangerous than a bunch of missile-strapped penguins. But still the public can get behind him because, you know, you kind of want to see what he'll do next. And yet Obatman will eventually defeat this Rompenguin because nomatter how attractive new tries to be if it's still a raw fish eating weirdo underneath it's going to shine through. This is a moral.

Santorum as the Scarecrow attracts exactly the crowd that would be into hallucinogens. God's hallucinogens in his case. And all he wants to do is destroy Gotham (America) by spreading his poison gas (self-righteous rhetoric on how only Christians know how to handle social issues) everywhere to KILL the citizens (' rights and freedoms to make choices that aren't in the bible). Scarecrow did it because he was picked on as a child. HM.

Batman gets him too.

Okay that's my daily quota of Batman Politics. A topic I am perpetually happy to revisit.