Ryan's Song

So I'm not even in America right now and the big news of the week is still making me want to yell at strangers. Paul Ryan? But...what? It's like Romney has already gone out of his way to alienate women and the working class, so he thought he would add the elderly to the mix as well? And even more women, since Ryan has done a brilliant job of voting again pro-choice and defunding planned parenthood? That's cool at least the rich and the conservatives (same costume) will have even more reason to vote the way they were going to anyway, but with more assurance that their tax breaks will be safe.

I suppose it's Romney's prerogative to add more energy to his campaign and he's succeeded in doing so. Albeit at the beginning of a veep rollout there is generally a lot of attention, because it's a big deal for four days or so! Unless you're Sarah Palin. Then you never escape. Or unless you introduce your vice presidential candidate as The Next President of The United States which probably confused a crowd into thinking they were being punk'd. The crowd being the conservative party and face it some of them were momentarily hopefully that Romney had actually passed it off. Anyhow, I guess we haven't had enough controversy since Rick Santorum left to go build himself an ark out of bibles to sail back to the 1950's in. He's still mad women get to vote. Yeah I'm not over Rick Santorum it's going to take some time.


But I digeess. Romney/Ryan 2012? Withering sighs are the new soundtrack to the Republican party.

To add some positively to this post I've included this picture I took of Amsterdam. That ought to fix things. Why didn't the Obama administration think of THAT amirightteaparty? ....because whatever Obama didn't think of is the answer.

Does anyone want to try scaling their way out of a massive hell pit with me this weekend? No? YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT FATHERS AND HOPE.

I wish I could have Hans Zimmer scores playing in the background of my entire life. Also, look out for a mine field of spoiler alerts since I'm going to talk about this movie in it's entirety.

So I have officially seen The Dark Knight Rises twice, and in memorandum of my prior posts' ideals about what I thought this movie would be I'd like to begin with another series of questions that I asked myself during and following my viewing of the movie: What were Christopher Nolan's messages throughout this film? What were all of these characters supposed to mean relative to Batman and Bruce Wayne's respective developments? Did everyone notice Talia Al Ghul literally twisting a knife in Bruce Wayne's side as she explained the twist of the story? LOL@christophernolan. Is that a real social networking thing I just did? I don't know how any of that actually works. And finally the most important question of all - what would Joseph Gordon-Levitt look like making pancakes in my kitchen in the morning? (I'm sure a good percentage of the audience had a similar thought bubble there).

SO MANY QUESTIONS to look into, and I'm genuinely disappointed to say many of them really weren't questions that needed answering at all. It was a great movie. I knew it would be, Christopher Nolan can't actually fail in making a film but it was no Dark Knight. Because there's so much to write about I'm going to break this down into a few categories based on themes. This was incredibly difficult to untangle because ultimately a lot of these themes and points were shoved into the movie unnecessarily and they sort of ran into and conflicted with one another but I'm going to try to make this as easy as possible to write about. Prepare to go on a journey of extreme over thinking about the philosophy of this movie, below.

But first the academy awards of Laura!

BEST ACTOR: Joesph Gordon-Levitt. Done and done the perfect blend of eagerness and slicked back hair. I was so happy to see him in a role that didn't require him to awkwardly smile (no offense to his adorable dimples. It may be obvious I came out of this movie with a new acting crush) and be someone's needy boyfriend. GLAD that he got the opportunity to act in a role that was a little more dynamic and challenging, I hope that he ends up getting more things like this in the future it was a great use of his talents. I haven't seen everything he's ever done but the things he's most known for definitely don't require more than a furrowed brow and a shy smile. And the robin twist was very cool although I wish they'd called him Dick Grayson in the movie, it wouldn't have given it away to the general population and I think the hardcore fans would have appreciated the nod.

MOST AWKWARD USE OF SEXUALITY: Anne Hathaway. Every time she tried to be provocative she sounded like she was reciting from an 80's porn script. She wasn't much of a scene stealer and her character didn't really do much to move the story in any direction until the cliche 'knick of time' save at the end. Ultimately well written, flatly delivered, great hair, no chemistry at all with Christian Bale. She lacked the subtlety of Michelle Pheiffer's Catwoman that made her mysterious and believably manipulative. At least we're one more Catwoman away from Halle Berry's.

BEST CHRISTIAN BALE: Michael Cain. Just kidding guys it was Christian Bale.

BEST CAMEO: Scarecrow. I expect Christopher Nolan and Cillian Murphy to announce the wedding any day now.

MOST DISTRACTING CAMEO: Peter Baelish.

WORST VOICE AWARD: Bane. Sorry, it was Bane. It is like Christopher Nolan can't make a movie without someone having an indecipherable accent. He sounded like someone's British grandfather I kept expecting him to invite Batman into his sewer kitchen nook for tea. Tom Hardy is very good from what I've seen but in this movie he wasn't exactly acting. He probably wasn't even speaking during those scenes he's just a pair of eyes and a freakishly gigantic body.

OVERUSED MANIPULATIVE VIXEN: Marion Cotillard. Boom.

Everyone else was awesome. Gary Oldman, amazing. Morgan Freeman, flawless. Guy from Malcolm in the Middle who's job was to block traffic and accidentally get shot, okay why not.

Onto themes. This part is an exercise in frustration so if you went to watch shit get blown up and you were satisfied turn back now and don't do this to yourself. There are recurring points about C. Nolan recycling plot lines from Batman Begins and renouncing huge themes from the Dark Knight that will drive me crazy until my dying day.

FEAR
After sifting through everything in the movie this is what I found to be the most important thing Nolan tackled. Bruce Wayne was told in Batman Begins that he must eliminate his fear to truly learn to fight crime; this is what Ra's Al Ghul coaches him to do and this is how he overcomes and adopts his fear of bats and his anger about his parents' death and becomes The Batman. In The Dark Knight rises Prison Alfred explains how the child was born of vengeance and fear and anger (much like himself) and the cataract-ridden (?) doctor in the hell pit tells him that he must embrace his fear again in order to get himself out, that anger and vengeance is not enough; what this is really saying is to embrace the humanity and vulnerability of Bruce Wayne (that The Joker apparently successfully got rid of in the Dark Knight) to find his way out. Talia Al Ghul climbs out as a child because of her anger and her need for vengeance, and then goes on to use this to fail at exactly what her father failed at. And this continues to explain why Batman wasn't suited for the League of Shadows, unnecessarily since we already went over that in Batman Begins.

I will never get over that Nolan took new characters and made them do old tricks.

HOPE
Blake was the symbol of hope for the movie, and although they never interacted he represented the antithesis of Bane. Bane was constantly preaching how the loss of hope was the ultimate sacrifice to bring somebody to their knees. This was a very interesting point, I really enjoyed how Bane was written to discuss the erosion of the soul over the destruction of the body, even though he of course also destroys bodies pretty well. Philosophically it's a complex issue and I appreciated that the audience got a view of both sides. Additionally both Blake and Bane were ultimately the catalysts for those carrying the real message. Bane's rhetoric about hope and hope lost is the support beam for Talia's insane prejudice against Gotham and her ultimate plot to destroy it, and Blake is what finally gets Bruce Wayne remembering the hope he once gave to Gotham and what must be restored since war has begun again in Gotham. The purpose of these characters is to off-set each other to instill and remove hope where necessary, which is subtle because it isn't obvious that Blake and Bane are ultimately the pair in the movie that are most perpendicular.

$MONEY$
This boggles my mind to no end. The message the Nolans are sending here is incredibly unclear and counterintuitive. It seems obvious at first - he's making a point about the poor and the rich and how extreme the divide in society can be. But he seems to really contradict himself - Alfred tells Bruce Wayne to use his money to help Gotham instead of his body. This is a good message, no? Alfred J. Pennyworth is no novice to sage grandfatherly advice. This is what America has been yelling about for a while - use your money to help others, don't just use it to make yourself richer. Philanthropy, etc. And that's what Bruce Wayne has seemingly done with his sustainable energy reactor except then it turns out to be...the thing that almost destroys Gotham? So, money doesn't help. Money will destroy Gotham faster. Okay, except then Batman also becomes 'Broken Bat' via Bane so his body is no good either. Which leaves him with a really lucky couple of last minute saves? Luck saved Gotham? Ouch. There is a thin argument for hope being what drove Catwoman (somehow) and Jim Gordon and Blake and Fox to take the actions that ultimately saved the city but that seems a little cliche for the Nolanverse.


Also on another note Bane tells the people of Gotham that the city is theirs to take back but a scene later says that the prisoners are the ones who deserve the city and it's implied that everyone should actually just stay home until they die and the seedy underbelly of Gotham are the ones that deserve to rule. What on earth, Nolans.


I also super duper wish he'd left the Talia twist out completely. Bane is so COOL on his own he ended up just being some patsy for the girl who is avenging her father who she hates. Not to mention Bane's problem with authority is perfectly understood in his actual comic book story but in the movie it's hard to understand why exactly he hates authority figures and police so much. Even in the pit it seems like authority wasn't really the problem, over-zealous face eating prisoners were. And that's definitely a problem, just not one that makes me understand why he wants the people of Gotham to drown cops and beat up rich people with tire irons. They explain that he did it for love of Talia, which one might assume means his love for her as her protector when she was a child but then becomes vague because by the time this all happens they are somehow the same age. Luckily a gratuitous shot of Anne Hathaway's butt was there to distract us from thinking about it too much. And it wasn't even that much of a twist if you just pay attention to the sex scene that was forced uncomfortably into the script Bruce Wayne runs his finger over Miranda (Talia)'s scar which is so similar to what Bane has on his head so, there you go guys. FoReShAdoWing. I liked that because it tipped me off right away and from then on I looked at her with side eyes.

So much to say. If you read this whole thing thank you it took me four days to write and I've spent all of my analytical cognitive capacity.

BATPOST. Countdown to the end of days.

There are many questions an existentially aware human being may ask in their lifetime. A few examples:

1. Why was Chris Brown in my dream last night?

2. When did I accidentally start napping and why is there a string cheese wrapper stuck to my arm?

4. When will the Arrested Development movie FINALLY get made?

3.  I accidentally listened to four seconds of Call Me Maybe and now it will be playing in my head for the rest of my natural born life. Why? WHY?

But there is one question that nobody will ever have to ask themselves: Will Chrisopher Nolan make a good movie? The answer is always, unfailingly going to be yes. The answer to #2 is eating string cheese in bed.

Here it is, week 0. The week batfans have been waiting for since stepping out of a theater four summers ago.

The Dark Knight Rises Comes Out Friday, at 12:03am as my pre-purchased ticket dictates. And here's what it is - I am absolutely terrified to see this movie. I am afraid of what Christopher Nolan is going to do to my faith in humanity this time, since the last occasion left me completely rattled. Grappling with themes of fear, desperation, the fragility of human connection and the ever-raging duality of good and evil present in all people in the ultra-concentrated cocktail of Nolan characters.

There is not enough reiteration in the world to express my skepticism about Anne Hathaway as Catwoman but I've done a lot of thinking about his choice of characters for this particular story. The Dark Knight dealt almost entirely with issues of duality and conflict - good vs. evil, batman vs. bruce wayne, Two-Face as himself, The Joker vs. Batman, crime vs. morality, rich vs. poor, British actors with American accents. Nolan wove this incredibly intricate cloth of self-reflective questions. I think the most effective use of his story is the question of Bruce Wayne becoming Batman. When the costume becomes the man, and the man becomes the thing, which they alluded to a lot in the Dark Knight and I have a strong feeling is going to be a huge theme in this new film. The Joker recognized this reality and manipulated Batman into at times succumbing to what makes him a vulnerable human being just to show him how ugly human vulnerability is, and how much more empowering and natural a human instinct for destruction can prove to be especially with the power that he has in his hands. Slowly bringing Batman to the brink of his humanity to push him into the other side and creating a monster that Batman literally HAD to embody to keep Harvey Dent looking like the good guy only convinces me further of the path I think we'll be seeing him on in The Dark Knight Rises. This is obviously infuriating to watch but also one of the most convincing struggles I've ever seen portrayed in a tragic hero film; Bruce Wayne sets out to do something good and instead of just stopping at the lazy Peter Parker Spiderman society questions me dilemma we get to actually see him question this himself! So rare and such an incredible psychological platform to build the jarring realism of the Nolanverse around. He goes out to create good but his desire is based on anger and vengeance. Batman has no purity, he didn't come into this role out of the goodness of his heart Batman was born of fear and anger and a need for revenge. These feelings are constantly bubbling under the surface and the more grief and obligation he feels in the role the more he begins to embrace it.

So, as far as character choices, I think Nolan may have done something very interesting. My thought is that Bane being a character based on pure force, and Catwoman who is known for her manipulation and quiet cunning represent the different sides of Batman/Bruce Wayne. If Nolan continues with his themes of duality the two characters being juxtaposed will serve to tear Bruce Wayne even further in two. When the two are literally at odds in front of him how will that self-evolve? Dangerously, no doubt. Of course Bane is known for doing one particular thing that I fear every moment counting down to this will mean the end of Batman in a way I can't trust is off the table. What I love so much about Christopher Nolan's take on Batman is his bringing it into our reality, as something that's happening in one of our big American cities and knowing as you see this unfolding that you would be another innocent bystander. It creates an incredibly unnerving feeling of identity with the victims of these complex criminal masterminds.

So, in keeping with themes of duality and the 'what would you do' factor that always seems to be Nolan's winking undercurrent I feel this one will make any audience member (if you're going for the action more power to you this ones for the cerebral nerds out there) incredibly uncomfortable with what it's representing about a character that is neither entirely good nor admittedly evil; someone who struggles as much as anybody else might with whether doing the right thing is always the right thing and at what point does that destroy you? You either die the hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Isn't this the truest and most painful reality that has been created within the institution of Batman? Batman will never truly be the hero, not the real Batman not the human story behind the heroic actions. Batman is born to fear and hurt and suffer and sacrifice and get no thanks for it. Batman is JESUS. Just kidding don't let Mel Gibson get his hands on that. But facing this all-encompassing question how exactly does Nolan plan to answer that question? And this is what keeps me crossing my fingers that it isn't what I think it is.


I'll be eager to discuss the horror after I do a bunch of googling about how much money the box office made off of it.

Michael Bay's new film: War on Job Creators. The senate is EXPLODING with various bills that will need future review.

Does anybody else immediately put up an NPR tab when they open internet explorer just because it's comforting?

So it looks like the campaign is finally getting down to brass tacks again. I haven't read a story about abortion is weeks. We're back to scandals and the failing economy, everybody's favorite choices in Draw Something.

At least Mitt Romney will be happy about it he digs the economy. He loves money, just ask him he'll tell you all about it. Although there haven't been any presidents thus far who have been primarily CEO's, and I've heard some interesting theorizing about how he's going to handle the rest of the workload. I've said it before and I'll say it again I've never thought that Mitt Romney would make a bad president. We don't have glaring red flags of alcohol abuse and undeserved blind conflidence like some presidents whose names rhyme with tush. He's a smart man, and he's sharp and successful. But we're talking strictly business. When I first began to watch Rick Santorum's attempts to bring us back to the good old days of puritan England I thought it was kind of funny to watch Romney try to sidestep the issues or awkwardly stutter through them. He's a smart man but he just does naaaahhhhht care about whether or not women should be allowed to get abortions, or whether gay people are allowed to get married. He's not a stickler for family values he just wants to get our weight up. But being past that I'm beginning to wonder if his distinct lack of being well-rounded is going to be a hindrance to his ability to tactfully run a country if it comes down to it. Obama didn't come to us with the most extensive background but the man can work a room and it's helped us a lot with foreign relations and yes, even economically we have improved during the Obama administration. Romney may be able to do a lot business-wise for the country, hypothetically, but that doesn't mean he can have a conversation with a foreign national or handle basic diplomacy. I mean he was governor of Massachusetts - we're 84% white and the state is well-off that's like a Romney dinner party if you include the staff as the other 16%. It's kind of his gig.

It's kind of cute that his slander ads accuse Obama's administration of creating a 'war on job creators.' LOL war on the massively rich captains of industry god Obama is such a jerk for that. What a jerk for trying to tax the absurdly wealthy that's being so mean to the job creators. They're not going to create any more jobs if you keep asking them to pay money to the people who they are offering a future to so that perhaps some day those destitute people may not have to rely on them for jobs. Jerk.

This is also an irritating quality of Mitt Romney's because for all of his business sense presidents don't actually have the power to create jobs. Despite what they all say they can't just open a magic door to all of the jobs that Obama has been too lazy to unlock. He can only hope that they can get Congress to go along with them on the plans they do want to make and that, my friends, is what we call a gridlock. It's coming for you too Mitt you're not special.

Happy weekend everyone

Nerdom

I finished my Game of Thrones prints I put a bunch of them up online you can find the rest of them here:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/Freshkicks

Why Tyrion Lannister is the best character in Game of Thrones

Hi there. Today is going to be a survey of the best character from Game of Thrones in my games of throney opinion, and that would be Tyrion Lannister. Peter Dinklage did a great interview about the character on NPR it's available here and I think you should check it out.

I'm going to be discussing Tyrion through the third book. And books, not the show because although show Tyrion is very good book Tyrion is a bit more persuasive.

There's a great line in book four that Jaime's Aunt Genna says to him in regards to Lord Tywin's son. And Jaime is all, yeah true I know I am it's whatever and she says no, Jaime. Tyrion is Tywin's son.

I love this, because there's so many conversations between Tywin and Tyrion that paint a genuinely painful picture of Tywin's resentment and hatred of Tyrion. How he wishes he wasn't his son and feels obligated to do something with him since he still bears their name and the name Lannister must command respect. And I mean these discussions are painful. Tywin does nothing to spare Tyrions feelings, and makes more than one point to explain to Tyrion how he killed his own mother in being born. But it's true, regardless, that Tyrion has the wit and intelligence of Tywin where Cercei and Jaime have boldness and charisma.

Tyrion is an underestimated character, and a tragic hero. He's the only Lannister (aside from Jaime later on in the books) who shows any real empathy for those involved in the game of thrones and is not just looking out for himself. He does that pretty well, but because he has struggled and been humiliated all his life he makes a point to make up for it in wits and intelligence (a point he makes early on) and yet even then gets little reprieve. The people of King's Landing still blame him for everything that goes wrong even though he's the only character who has the ability to make anything right. Awkward.

But what makes him the best character ultimately is his incredible ability to see everything around him with a shrewd but also humane perspective. I love the way he manipulates the council, and I love the way he is always self aware and questioning himself and who he has been and those around him. Usually the questioning from those around him are about who is lying, cheating and manipulating and while Tyrion is exemplary at that he also makes a point to understand the motive and emotions behind the actions so that he never forgets that in the game these are people, not just pawns. This is brilliant because it creates a character that is actually worth caring about. Everyone else is either too weak or too strong. George RR Martin writes characters driven by greed, lust, power and honor. No matter what other struggles they go through their drives make it clear. Tyrion is driven by nothing other than his will to survive his own reality. In this he is empathetic to the struggle of others and this dynamism gives him a depth and a sentiment that no other character possesses.

SPOILERS for book four because I need to discuss Tyrion's epic breakdown.

Who else was heartbroken that Shae totally betrayed him. I mean Tyrion just CANNOT catch a break in these stories he will continually be humiliated and betrayed. Which is why his unraveling is so gratifying. I suppose his last conversation with Jaime could have been avoided I don't think that did much help for anyone but I love that Shae gets what she deserves and I love that the bane of Tywin's existence is what ultimately took him down. If you kick someone enough times they'll probably shoot you in the abdomen with a crossbow, just sayin Tywin. Should have rethought that lord of Casterly Rock thing and maybe not publicly shit on your son every day of the week, BAM. ROASTED.

I have not started book 5 but I know that Tyrion is going to be in book 6 and I can't wait to horrify my grandchildren with it when it finally comes out. When I'm 80.

Avenge bender

So I went and saw The Avengers, unfortunately I was unprepared and had to make my friend explain the story of Captain America to me over enough explosions to give Michael Bay a semi. But from the knowledge I do have of the other characters, it was a genuinely indulgent display of pure badassery and comedic timing.

And the direction and screenplay were both Joss Whedon. JOSS WHEDON, you guys. And girls, and nerds. I buy shamelessly into anything Joss Whedon does it's the curse of having been an antisocial nerd in the 90s. There are vague spoilers I'm not doing much with the plot.

First of all I'd like to say the unnecessary casting of Cobie Smulders as agent catsuit earpiece was a waste of the film budget.

Sooo I know people probably come up to you all the time and say this but I really want to talk about The Hulk. I'm as embarrassed for the Hulk movies as the next person with sensory perception (but not nearly as embarrassed as I will be for the next Spiderman movie, there truly is no god). Despite this I bit the bullet and went to see Edward Norton in the last film. Heck I'd probably go see Edward Norton do the Blue Man Group. And mildly enjoyed it, like some kind of half melted ice cream you go ahead and eat anyway. But Mark Ruffalo, I have to say that guy brought sympathy to the character that Edward Norton for all of his acting charms just does not possess and it gave Bruce Banner at least 4 new levels of depth. I feel perpetually underwhelmed with how filmmakers manage the Hulk - Bruce Banner is such an interesting emotional study and all they want is to distract you with CGI and heavy breathing. I bet if Christopher Nolan got his hands on it we would all be weeping by the end; there is a real story to the man behind the monster that I feel cheated out of every single time. But kudos to Mark Ruffalo for actually reminding me that he's a person and not just mad guy/green guy/brooding guy the end.

Soundbites about the movie:

- Smarmy cameo by Gwenyth Paltrow as Pepper Potts,
- Awkward nod to the Thor move with a cameo of...a picture of Natalie Portman...
- A cameo by Alexis Denisoff that I just learned about and am devastated to have missed
- Teen boys were rewarded with Scarlett Johansson's almost-cleavage and gratuitous posterior shots (before remembering they can google more explicit materials using an iphone)

And the older crowd got to see Chris Evans drop a few greatest generation one liners and wear pants too high up his waist. Robert Downey Junior taught comedic timing a lesson like he literally cannot fail to do and Samuel L. Jackson came on screen and children wet themselves two theaters over. That man could kill a bear with his eyes.

Also Stellan Skarsgard, who I have been having a screen to face affair with lately is just a great addition to any movie. And maybe this is because I have a huge crush on his son and his accent but I'm really happy whenever he gets cast. I recently watched Melancholia (2011) and genuinely appreciated the few scenes he was in, before spiraling into a brief existential depression. Don't watch that movie if you want to do anything with your day.

Tom Hiddleston (IMDB him he looks like someone poured milk over a wax figure) was passable as Loki, although he doesn't really betray much at all with his face or demeanor. I thought they could have picked somebody much more sinister looking maybe with kind of a pitiful edge. I feel like this Loki would be a better character if he ever looked anything but annoyed or amused. He's supposed to be all about jealousy and self-loathing with a desire to prove himself through misguided violence but mostly he just looks smug. And Thor continues to play the brother card I mean at what point do you say dude, you're not invited to my wedding and no you can't borrow any more money. He's a bad brother, bro. He just stabbed you.

There were lots of action sequences, lasers and gunfire and flying mechanical centipede fish and screaming civilians. Threat of nuclear attack that SLJ's character tried to stop by blowing up the offending plane with a bazooka (Hollywood logic wins again) and enough CGI to feed a small family for a year. Is it weird that I watched aliens destroy movie Manhattan and my first thought was 'I can't imagine how New York is going to get the governmental funding to rebuild the infrastructure and house all of these displaced persons.' The answer is yes.

Ultimately it was really well done. Superhero movies have a tendency to be lukewarm or overshot and I thought they cast this one fantastically (aside from the abscence of Michael Fassbender which brings every movie down a little bit) and that extra final scene at the end was pure gold. If nothing else go sit through the coming attractions so you can see the new Dark Knight Rises preview.